Powerful?

I got chills when I watched this.



Commending Mr. Harvey on a powerful moment. Exciting to see a stadium full of people on their feet cheering, and sobering to see Steve sort of in pieces at the end.

I wonder who they were applauding for. Jesus-worship? Steve-worship? Maybe a little of both? If it was Jesus worship, I wonder what those thousands went and did after that moment. That's a lot of people who could do a lot of great things together for God.

What I take away from this video is, it seems to me, that there's a chasm between a powerful moment and a powerful life. We've all witnessed powerful moments and secretly tried to imitate them. All of us would love to lead the way in orchestrating something special-- to be known for a moment when we move people to stand and cheer for something. I know I would. But when I step off the stage and continue my life, does it match? Do my compelling statements and dramatic pauses fit with the back drop of my whole life... and in the context of my daily routine?

It reminds me of a line in the book of James: "Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." My bold statements are either a natural overflow of my heart, or the prime accusers that will expose me. One day. And perhaps not on a stage. Or perhaps.

I have no desire to bring Mr. Harvey's sincerity into question; if ever I'm looking to find fault or hypocrisy, I don't need to look any further than my own heart.

I'd like to do great and honorable things for God, and I hope they're not limited to the moments when people are watching.

Happy to be sad!

Yesterday I may have gotten more attention than I think I've ever received in my life. This may even include my wedding. After 6.5 years serving at a great church with a stupendous team and a phenomenal youth staff for an outstanding student ministry, God is moving Courtney and me on to something else. Courtney and I have known in our our hearts only since about mid-December that this would happen. Of the course in the past few months, there have been exciting conversations as well as conversations I have dreaded for a long time.

After returning home with the Mexico team on Saturday, we enjoyed a fully-fun and draining day yesterday. Grace had a special gathering to express thanks and hope and say good-bye, and H2O was used for the Launching the Laibs party. Between the two, there were a lot of laughs and gifts and words shared, and over 5 hours of standing, holding, and saying good-byes. After each crowd had dissipated, I unexpectedly broke down in Courtney's arms and sobbed uncontrollably like I was six.

Some things I've learned from this season, and more in this last weekend:

• 'Sad' does not equal 'bad'. We do treat it as if it was, but it's not. The thinker wrote in Ecclesiasties 3 that 'there is a time for everything' (laughing, weeping, living, dying, healing, murder, construction, destruction, etc). It's built-in to reality. It's in God's blueprint of life. 'Sad' makes the most sense at times, and it would be most appropriate if we have that feeling and demeanor.
• 'Sad' is tempting to avoid. Even though the perfect Creator included it in the life-balance, we hate it. It's not fun. It's uncomfortable. It's overwhelming at times. And it makes us not only feel our worst, but look it, too. Who likes the way their face looks when they are sad? No one. And there's running mascara and teeth and snot and wrinkles involved. And yet, "there is a time for everything... and a sovereign purpose for it... beautiful, in it's time." (Ecc 3:1, 11 -- I think the general purpose in life, according to the context, is to honor a balance that God invented) We avoid sad in the worst way, and are willing to do the dumbest things in order to do so. I wonder how God feels about that. It can't be good for us.
• 'Sad' can be hard work. How? 1) Sadness is exhausting... more exhausting than excitement, I'll bet. 2) Because we are not good at 'just being sad', proper sadness takes monitoring. Sadness is much easier in the moment if it is anchored in things like anger, blame, even worry. It's like shutting our eyes in an intense movie, or sarcastically shouting 'SORRY!'... we find easy ways to just 'get it over with'. Unfortunately, it would be much healthier for us in the long run if would would just have the courage to be 'sad' today because it's 'sad'. That takes a lot of control. 3) It builds character. That's always a hard thing. There are more desirable seasons that God has created, ones that we would rather skip ahead to. Cop-outs who avoid sadness at all costs wrestle for years after over the words and emotions they wish they would have expressed in the right mood at the right time. That doesn't make a person of character, but a person of dysfunction. Usually it's the uncomfortable things that chisel us into what will make us sea-worthy.
• 'Sad' is meant to be only for a time. Otherwise, it eclipses 'hope'. Sadness does not seem to me to be a thing designed to be wallowed in. Like boot camp: you get in, and you get out! It builds you in special ways, but it is not meant to be enjoyed, and you get no extra medals for prolonging it.

I think it would be good for us to learn that God's way is always best. Healthy individuals will have inconvenient, distressing promptings in life. There may be snot involved. "Sorrows may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning" is not a phrase of entitlement, but more a statement that God allows distress to shape us for a time, and we can always look forward to his goodness. I'm relieved to say that I may have disguised my emotions at times for the sake of others, but I never faked a thing, or tethered myself to a poor anchor for the sake of weathering the storm, or lost proper sight of God's goodness.

There is a correct way to be sad, and in select times, there is something very right about it. I've been more sad than I've been my whole life yesterday, and at times in the last few weeks, and I'm a better person for it!

Where is This Going?

Coaches,

Last Sunday, as the crowd dwindled down to the last people in the building (either delaying departure or waiting for a ride), I was invited into a conversation with a coach and a student about a personal struggle that she was starting to feel some righteous guilt over.

While we talked, another coach let me know that a different student was waiting in the next room to talk to me. This confused me, because I had already said good-bye to that student about 30 minutes before.

As we wrapped up our intense convo with the 1st student and prayed with her, I located the 2nd student and asked him what was on his mind (our first one-on-one convo ever). He let me know that he likes coming to H2O, enjoys the messages, and has been wanting to ask some questions for a long time. He had driven all the way home, sat down on his couch, and decided he'd had enough, and drove all the way back to H2O to see if could satisfy some curiosities! These questions were investigative of Christ and faith. We had a good long talk, and I even had the privilege of showing him some passages of God's truth.

I just want you to know that if you sometimes wonder,

in a place with so many people, amid the crazy atmosphere,
the tight programming, the flurry of activity and the hype,

if God is doing anything here that is for real and for keeps, you are not alone. I think it's okay to wonder this, because why are we here, anyway? (I try to wonder it on purpose, now and again.)

You should know that these kinds of conversations have happened every week at H2O for months: evidence of Spirit activity in the secret places of the teenage heart. I'm not the only coach to verify this. Week after week, it's good to know that God is using what we're doing to highlight what HE is desiring to do in the hearts of broken people. God is still playing for keeps, and I believe we are actually helping.

"A farmer went out to sow his seed.
As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.
Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.

Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

He who has ears, let him hear." ~Jesus, Matt 13

Hike! jLaib

This blog originally appeared in Monday Quarterback, a morning-after e-challenge to the adult staff of H2O student ministries.

Pursuit Tells the Story

Coaches,

I was reading in I Thess 2, where Paul is writing to the fledgling believers in Thessalonica. He and his missionary friends made a huge impact on their lives (because they all learned about God at got saved). Then Paul and his buddies were run out of town in a fierce way. Now Paul is a distance away, longing to return, and dropping them a line.

In studying how Paul's Team behaved, a servant group like ours could learn a lot about making a difference.

What are the mannerisms of a team that makes deep-impact?

*Courage that is driven by love for people and love for God. (vs 2)
*Pure motives, no trickery or magic, with the driving desire to please God alone. (vs 3-6)
*Individuals who are open books, honestly sharing life. (vs 8)
*Sweat-hard workers, determined to give and give. (vs 6-7, 9-12)
*Close enough to call 'friend', but out-in-front enough to call 'mentor'. (compare vs 8 with vs 7 & 11)

To me, there are clear signs here that this team actually did turn lives upside-down for the Kingdom. First off, you don't write touching words like this to strangers, and as their mentor, you have to imagine that his feelings for them only represent in part how they feel toward him. Secondly, the goals they had that Paul is listing just seem to be dead-on according to other Scripture, and as well as life-changing (according to my own experience). But lastly, check out vs 14: they were now suffering, too! They had followed Paul's Jesus right into the trenches with him, now passing even the hardest of tests. This was no cute con-game or a call to popularity; Paul's team had produced true-to-life(or-death)-converts.

Let me say it again: I call each of you dear friends, and as your leader, am so proud of what we've accomplished through H2O this year. Thank you for bringing your individual gifts, for your efforts in the limelight as well as in the shadows, and for sharing yourselves with students who are lapping up God's love.

My challenge to you today is to take a break, but to keep on giving. The next two weeks are a perfect time to rest from the Sunday night programming and the rigorous work that comes with it. However, there is no better time to reap a huge reward for small initiations than during a break from consistent meetings (like this one). Here's why:

When you take a vacation, the boss leaves you alone.
When it's the weekend, the teacher leaves you alone.
If the postman has no mail, if the tax guy has received the right forms, if the cop suspects no crime, they leave all you alone in the off-time. It's business.

But as Paul said in vs 8: "We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us."

Coaches, you've shown our students a lot on Sundays, and now it's time to show them something different. We get a hundred kingdom-bucks for every dime's worth of effort when you facebook, text, email, call, invite over the students that never expect that our level of care exceeds the weekly Sunday-night schedule. Pray for them, and if only in your travel-time, check in with them. If they are dear to us and part of our whole lives, than we'll prove it, with pursuit.

Hike! jLaib


This blog originally appeared in Monday Quarterback, a morning-after e-challenge to the adult staff of H2O student ministries.

A Great Newsboys Story

I've been a fan of the Newsboys ever since their '92 album Not Ashamed made them big. Ultra-creative music and stage show, penetrating lyrics, energetic sound. Today was surfing the 'net and thought I'd check out their bio on Wikipedia. I think I've kept up pretty well on their career and what some would consider trivia, but I did learn this:

• The bassist that played with them only on their '95 album/tour Going Public actually left to manage White Heart and later lost his life in a motorbike accident.
• John James, who was a founding member (with Peter Furler, current leader) and crazy front-man from the start and all the way through the famous Take Me To Your Leader tour, reportedly stepped down from the band to be a youth speaker and write a book (I remember). In actuality, he had a major breakdown and struggles with addictions.

Celebrities are real people that somehow are presumed by their adoring fans to have everything together. I read a sobering testimonial from John here. He speaks of having been part of a huge machine where people don't let themselves see problems in order to keep moving forward.

Could it be said that fans 'use and abuse' their own heroes? How else could it be that such falls from grace happen with no one who can or will help? I know that every person is responsible for their own actions, but I think there are times where us less-popular folks can't understand the tremendous pressures that superstars, as also-humans, face in the constant spotlight.

It also reminded me of a touching song Bebo Norman wrote, called Britney, for Britney Spears. (hear it)

What I loved about this story is that John got help from true believers. The Church decided to be The Church for John, and as he placed himself in a position where he could start to heal and remove the sinful practices from his life, followers of Jesus slathered the supporting love and powerful acceptance of God all over him.

If the family of Jesus' followers will not take broken people personally, as friends, and make an up-close difference, people like John and I don't have much of a hope to sense all that God would love for us to sense.

Pushing Fences

Coaches,

Check out this cool email from Sonshine on the 17th:

I was talking to madre last night when I got home and asked her how snack bar went. She said it was good, but mentioned that as she left, she saw some kids outside smoking, cussing, sliding under cars, and their pants falling down as they were goofing off in the parking lot. My mom understands that this is an outreach, but i am concerned that all parents might not. I don't know what all can be done, besides go over the outside guidelines on the next regular H2O night, but i thought you should know anyway.

This is a great observation of a recurring dynamic most effective student ministries experience. There's a name for it. We call this dynamic the Dummies Who Search For Protected Places at Youth Group to Do Whatever They Want dynamic. And the thing to remember is, our friends the adolescents are smart as well as determined. We must give them that credit! We remember how we used to fly under the radar of authority, don't we? Recently at Extreme, Aaron and certain coaches dealt squarely with a beat-down fight and a sexual encounter, both instances that occurred on Grace property, by students, unbeknown by the staff on duty!

This is the real deal. So let's talk!

Are these students truly dummies?
Well, I suppose we'll have to judge that on a case-by-case. It's just more satisfying to say that... especially when they know better.

Why do they keep moving away from the large group, where we can't see them?
Hey, sometimes people just want some space so they can do their own thing. Sometimes 'their own thing' is pretty cool, and different. Other times it's destructive. Let's remember that lots of our students come to H2O for a sense of fresh air and freedom. Relaxing usually means roaming. (Quoting Dan Bradica: "I don't think I would have ever stayed at H2O if we couldn't have gone in all those little (forbidden) rooms for all those good times!" I get it!)

Do we care?
Yeah, we kinda have to. This is a ministry to parents by being a ministry to students. It just doesn't work to have parents rolling in seeing activity that is obviously not being monitored, especially when its inappropriate or unsafe (or finding out later what has gone on). I understand that silly moments and closed conversations can be very beneficial-- neither of which usually happen in the middle of a blaring gym-- so it's a tough balance to try to prevent the destructive without feeling like total prison guards. But we do want to be a good steward of our facility, our time window with students, and our reputation.

Is this dynamic really in every student ministry? Where?
I think so. Some groups (or couples) don't need to be where the action is, where the popular people mingle, or in the middle of some snack or game-- just their own little group and their own little adventure. H2O's spots for 'getting away' for private fun or rebellion, I've noticed, are: bathrooms (once in a while), walking around the building or near the cornfield (more popular in the summer), the green room/storage room (stud.leas! grrr!), inside vehicles (once or twice) and just places where coaches and stud.leas aren't around to observe/filter behavior.

What do we do when this dynamic presents itself?
What would you do? Seriously? I have some ideas, but I'm interested in yours! (Add your comment here.) Also interested in your answer: should hangouts in the parking lot be considered off limits? Why or why not?

--Occasional reminders from the stage of what's on/off limits. (Oh, that's me. Check.)

--Roaming coaches. It's just got to be in out habit to circulate when we can. Not many of us can do it on every night, but almost all of us can do it on some nights. I believe that even a mild sense of Coach Presence is a greater prevention to trouble than we will ever realize. Merely passing through a little private party once in a while is cool, too; you won't be butting-in officially, but you'll be reminding that we can when we want to!

--More coaches. H2O is growing, and having more of us would be awesome! We could cover more territory and influence more people! I think the chances are good that, if you are being relationally connected Grace as you should, you personally know one person who should seriously consider joining our team on Sunday nights! Do something about that!

--Teachable moments. If you have the opportunity to rope in some wanderers, accompany the rule-enforcement with a conversation. Explain that H2O is only as fun as it is safe, and we have to put boundaries up so people don't try dumb stuff on our watch. "Don't take it personally. We understand the desire for privacy at times, but you just can't have it here, like this." This accepting approach will go a long way, and your lesson may even be taught by those who learned it from you.

--Lean into relationships. See a 'trouble-kid'? Go get to know him and be friends before you have to smack him around with our rules. Let's face it; the thing that unsettles us about breaking up 'private parties' is that we don't want to be misunderstood and cause friction. Chances for that go way down if you plan ahead by getting some change in your pocket with certain students before you have to spend it.


Hike! jLaib

This blog originally appeared in Monday Quarterback, a morning-after e-challenge to the adult staff of H2O student ministries.